LIVING
A PEACEFUL LIFE
CHAPTER
TWO
Peace
is not just the absence of war but the total tranquility of the spirit, soul
and body. The Hebrew word shalom, which is also translated as peace has
multiple meanings which includes, well-being, prosperity, equity, security, good
fortune and friendliness. Going by the above definition, a country or state can
be war free and at the same time not defined as a peaceful nation. This is
because it’s just a matter of time before violence or war will breakout in a
country were the citizens are poor, hungry, unemployed and frustrated.
One
of the major ways to live a peaceful life is by being “more loving and less controlling”.
Ceasing to seek power over people and outcomes in your life is the first major
step to living a peaceful life. Trying to control people is about seeking to
impose your will and reality on others without ever trying to see things from their
own point of view. A controlling approach to relationship will always keep you
in conflict with others. Loving others in spite of their faults and differences
is the way to a peaceful life. According to the great thinker and peace icon Mahatma
Gandhi, power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent
than power gained through threat of punishment. Learning the skills of
negotiation, conflict resolution and assertive communication will help one
avoid or effectively go through conflict with others. Loving others involves
having confidence in them, that they are capable of living as good a life as
possible, all things being equal. In this respect, we should give advice wisely
as even giving advice carries controlling tendencies, when it is used as a
means to interfere in another person’s life rather than simply offering your
own insight in a situation.
When
we advice others, we risk assuming that we have a full grasp when in actual
fact, we usually do not and we are filtering their problems from our own
experience. It is far better to respect the other person’s intelligence and
simply be there for them instead of trying to impose your experience as the “answer”
for them. Treating others in this way, will respect and not trivialize their
view point and this will make our world a more loving and peaceful place for
all.
Agoha Obed
obeago4god@yahoo.co.uk
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